Setting Healthy Boundaries in any Relationship
Setting Healthy Boundaries in any Relationship
Setting Healthy Boundaries in any Relationship: A relationship begins when things are always the best. It’s a new adventure; you don’t know the person well and only see what you like. We call it the honeymoon stage, which is sad because when you get into a relationship, you want the honeymoon stage to last forever. While it won’t last forever, there’s no reason why you can’t be happy with the person you’ve fallen for. One of the most important things you must do is set boundaries. Whenever you don’t set boundaries, no one knows the limits. Those little things we overlook in the beginning are yellow flags and those you can handle. Red flags are a different story, as some things cannot be overcome. Look for any abuse, whether it’s verbal, mental, or physical.
What are yellow flags?
Yellow flags are more like annoyances; you must decide whether to live with them or address them early on. An example would be if somebody raises their voice to you, you have a few ways to react. Raising your voice back will only escalate things and set the standard for the next time this happens. It starts a pattern that is hard to change in the future and will become a red flag. You have to shut down this type of behavior and set boundaries, and stick to them. First, you need to state in a calm voice that they’re not allowed to raise their voice to you.
Not setting boundaries for the yellow flags will eventually turn into red flags, and it’ll be too late. Suppose your partner disagrees with the boundaries you are trying to set. This is a sign that they don’t respect your feelings and opinions, which would be a RED FLAG. Any relationship’s purpose should be to improve each other’s lives. Most people don’t even think about this throughout the entire relationship. In fact, when we ask questions of couples individually as to what the purpose of the relationship is, most of the time, they come up with answers about making themselves happy. They instantly get it when we point out that that sounds quite selfish.
How to set Boundaries
When setting boundaries, rather than just telling people what they can’t do, phrase it in a way that makes it evident that you want to make their life better. They should wish the same for you. By stating that their role in the relationship is to make your life better and your role in the relationship is to make their life better, they will be more understanding and willing to listen. While setting boundaries, you’re basically telling people what they can and can’t do. Successful couples understand that this is their role. This should be discussed when the hang-out period starts. This is when you’re not going on dates anymore and starting to hang out regularly.
If you stop improving each other’s lives, maybe that’s when the relationship needs to end. No one likes to think about the end of a relationship. However, if you think about it from this perspective, you have a much better chance of it never-ending! Boundaries let the people who love you know how not to lose you…
When we talk about improving each other’s lives, we’re not talking about finances necessarily. Although that is part of it once you’re a couple. Making each other’s lives better is as much about the big things as it is about the little things. And the little things are more day-to-day and can frustrate you as they are a constant.
Remember…
We can’t tell you what they are as they are different for everyone, but the important thing is that you remember what the relationship’s purpose is.
So the next time you feel uncomfortable about what your partner is doing or saying, or you’re about to get into a full-blown argument, stop and ask yourselves: “how is this making your lives better?”. The introduction of this question can stop an argument in its tracks and prevent you from being uncomfortable in future situations. But, of course, setting boundaries goes hand in hand with this. You must set boundaries early on, as the longer you let someone do things that make you uncomfortable, the harder it will be to stop them down the road.
Don’t make this mistake!
The mistake many couples make instead of setting boundaries is to try and change their partner over time; the problem is that because boundaries weren’t set, your partner never knows what you’re trying to change…
The Team wrote this for you because we care and believe in the happily ever after 🙂
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